The days turn into night and night into days and on and on it goes as I drift from one day to another in a blur. The last few weeks have been nothing but a blur, I loved and I lost, or lost in love I guess is a way to say it.
So as I stand by my window watching the world whizzing by, I want the rest of the world to standstill with me. I want everyone to mourn my loss of love with me. A slow drizzle from the sky bringing as much gloom as I feel I could muster in a single afternoon, might be what I need, I want everyone else to feel the same doom and gloom I feel. Never I dare say have I felt a need for such a gloomy day.
The heartbreak has got the best of me this past few weeks, I have been slipping into a melancholy mood feeling as if the light behind my eyes has dimmed, the forced smile my charade to keep going.
I am trying to say goodbye to a relationship, which is tugging at my heart-strings and making it hard to let go. As i struggle with goodbye, I wonder how do I let go of the memories attached to the relationship that make you want to fight more and torment myself with the what ifs.
I know I am far from perfect, my list of shortcomings would make anyone blush, but my love for you was honest. I love you so much that I make silly choices in the hopes of making you jealous. In hindsight like everything else, I know that it was a bad move, but at that moment of decision-making it seems like I would do anything to show you how much I love you, even if the end result is just the opposite.
The extent of my humiliation seems to know no bounds, I beg and plead hoping that you would give me that one chance I want.
We both have hurt each other in the name of love. It is so hard to see myself without you, every place I go, have a reminder of you, what do I do, how do I forget. No matter where I look, there is something of you that catches my eye. I try to run for miles, hoping that the wind in my face and the breathlessness I feel will give me temporary relief from you.
However, the more I run, the memory of you keeps flooding into me, bringing tears to my eyes. How do I forget you ?
I have loved before, but I realized there is various degrees of love, the feeling of knowing that something feels so right and that’s what I had with you.
Please help me.