No way to love me…now that is my favorite song

When I first read the challenge on WordPress today, my first thought was of the song “Music was my first love”, well that is not one of my favorite songs, but it did pop into my head.

This challenge is easy and yet difficult, easy because I love music, no matter what I am doing, there is always music in the background, maybe I use music as a way to distract myself from thinking. Difficult because there are so many songs and my favorites change depending on my mood and what is going on in my life. I seem to find a way to associate most songs  to my life. I remember many moons ago, listening to Gloria Gaynor, I will survive, of course as a teenager growing up in the 80’s, that was probably everyone’s favorite breakup song….since then music has changed, my taste in music has evolved and with all the apps out there to listen music, it’s an endless odyssey out there.

The music is blaring in my ears as I run every day, the music is on when I go to sleep everyday, I wake up to music, I drive to work with music on and even at work, I listen to music….I surround myself with music. Right now I am dealing with a lot of hurt and pain and being let down by someone I once loved and I thought loved me and for the conscious decisions he made to hurt me, yes seems to have endless reasons as to why it should not hurt me.

I was driving home recently with my windows rolled down and the wind blowing in my face, when this song “No way to love me, by Oleta Adams”  came on. When I heard the chorus ‘Tell me what do you see in me, that somehow makes you believe that I am the enemy, at least that’s what your perceive”. The tears started to roll down my face, because as hurt and angry as I am that he did destroy me, he still believes that I am the enemy. I have had this song on repeat on certain days, the days where I want to mope and drown myself in self-pity.


Then there are days where I am ready to kick butt and be ready to move on  and accept that he is not worth my time and effort and mostly my tears. “You think that I can’t live without your love, You’ll see, You think I can’t go on another day, you’ll see” and on and on it goes Madonna singing what I want to say to him.

Then comes my favorite part of the song ” It takes more strength to cry, admit defeat, I have truth on my side, you only have deceit, you’ll see, somehow, someday” I definitely could have not said it any better than she did.

There is no way I can talk about music and not add this to my list. A few years ago, my boy friend and I of many years broke up, that was when “Gotye’s song “Somebody I used to know” came out and I don;t know how many times I played that song, it was there on the radio every time I turned it on, it was on my iPod on repeat and on and on it went for weeks, till I finally I had enough of it. However, even today when that song comes on, no matter where I am, what I am doing, I stop and listen and I remember my ex boy friend.  I have moved on since then but now instead of tears, the song puts a smile on my face, because I remember him and the good times we shared.

Music is what keeps me going to a great extent, I surround myself with music, I drown my sorrows in music and I would be nothing without it.


About my random musings

I am originally from South East Asia and I moved to the US about 15 years ago to follow my heart. My heart has since been broken a few times, but I continue to be on journey of trying to mend it. I could talk about running, baking or writing in a small crowd, but put me in a room full of strangers and I will be the one standing in a corner people watching. When I am not writing or running, I would be in my kitchen, flour strewn all over the kitchen counters, music playing in the background and me just rolling and folding dough, excited about what my creation will turn out to be. Besides that I love passionately, when I love, I give it my all, not always a good thing, but that is who I am. I jump both feet in and sometimes I come out with regrets but having learnt a lesson. I believe everything happens for a reason and this is my place to share bits and pieces of my life, my adventures and sometimes misadventures. Hope you enjoy reading my stories as much I enjoy sharing them with you.
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3 Responses to No way to love me…now that is my favorite song

  1. Karuna says:

    I’m glad you have music to help you through the hard times…… but I think even without it you would be a whole lot more than nothing!!! 🙂


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