“Every new day is another chance to change your life”
The clock is ticking for the half marathon I signed up for, I feel I am nowhere near being ready to run 13.1 miles. My love hate relationship with running continues, I love the challenge but I hate running…if that even makes sense. Every weekend morning I plan to go run, but eventually sleep somehow seems to win over the running.
But this morning I was determined, that I have to start running, there is no more excuses, no matter what, I was going to put on those running shoes and run. Even though I struggled to get going, I did go for a 5 mile run. The hardest part is starting, 2 miles into it, my feet just go one in front of the other, the music pounding in my ears and I lose myself in the most mundane and random thoughts.
This morning I was pondering on the question someone recently asked me, which was why I write ? I wish the answer was as simple as, I love to write, yes, that is part of the reason, but writing is my escape, so is running or baking. I always thought myself as a writer, I used to write corny poetry as a teen and then I wrote a few short stories, which got published and eventually I got a job in a newspaper.
However, my writing came to a standstill when I moved to the US, during that time I found something else I was passionate about, cooking/baking. I would watch endless episodes on Food Network and try to re-create them with my own twist and found baking my new escape. That continued on and that eventually led to me letting everything else I do fall by the wayside and baking became my new focus. Years later, I still love spending time in the kitchen, sharing whatever comes out of the oven with friends and now that hobby has turned into a semi a money-making venture for me at the farmers market.
It is my hobby, it is my passion and nothing gives me greater joy than seeing someone savor something I have made and watch their face light up.
Coming back to writing, my writing took a back seat to the baking and running, however recently when I found that someone I cared for hurt me so badly, I needed a place to vent, a place to share my pain, I decided to start this blog. What better way to try heal a broken heart or share your heartbreak, than write about it.
My heart is healed and I have moved on for the most part, even though there are moments when I catch my mind drifting to the pain, but those moments are rarer and rarer as time goes on.
I realize I am not defined by being with someone or that someone else does not complete me, I have to find ways to complete myself before letting anyone into my little cocoon. Pain and hurt is part of life, there is no controlling the behavior of another, but I am glad that this hurt and pain was my muse for writing, it helped me re-ignite that love of writing I had.
My heart maybe healing and my running maybe improving, but most of all I am glad that I found writing again or that writing found me and that besides heartbreak I have stories that are worth sharing.
“The only lasting beauty, is the beauty of the heart “