It has been one of those days… One of those days where my past seems to haunt me. I’ve done great in the last few months immersing myself in anything and everything to not think about the hurt, betrayal or the fact that I was stabbed in my heart and my back.
My day started as usual with me heading to the farmers market, which gives me a lot of pleasure. How many people get a chance to experiment with new recipe ideas and have someone else pay for it. My kitchen is my playground and I love experimenting with different spices and trying unusual twists and this week it was Apple and cardamom.
Well back to my not so great weekend. One of the assignments on WP challenge was writing about someone you lost, my mind starts churning about the losses I have faced and then like a bad record that gets stuck on one thing, my mind stays stuck on my ex.
For the most part it would be something absolutely random that will bring thoughts of him to my mind and then there is no escaping it. I start playing different scenarios in my head about things, start wondering about the what if’s and find myself going down a rabbit hole for no reason….and have a hard time climbing out of that hole.
Despite my attempts to climb out of the rabbit hole, I struggle with it, so I finally put on my running shoes and hope that it would help me.
I switch my brain off and let my feet lead me, I try to shut my mind off things, but it seems no matter how hard or fast I try to run to escape him, I find thoughts of him ingrained in me. As I run, my feet keeps going faster, I am trying to exhaust my brain to not think of him, but thoughts of him are keeping up with me while I keep pounding away.
This songs comes up on my playlist and as tired as I am, I find myself amused at the lyrics and how appropriate they seem.
After having run 7 miles, I seem to have left thoughts of him at mile 5.
Talking a friend about it later that evening, she reminded me why I should not waste my time thinking about him. She reminded me about his hypocrisy, his double standards and his lack ethics or morals….yes I might have lost him, but in a weird twist of faith, I found my strength and my love for running.
This is part of WP writing challenge.