It’s Friday night and I am sitting down to write while the brownies and apple tart continues to bake. The music plays in the background and I am in my baking world, which is always my favorite part of a Friday.
My kitchen is as usual strewn with baking pans stacked on top of each other and I for a moment want to forget that mess. Instead I chose to sit down to write and ignore the flour covered counters in my kitchen.
The last few days have been quite challenging. I got home one day to find my refrigerator not working. I will spare you the details of that episode. The first thought in my mind was that I would not be able to make it to the farmers market on Saturday. However, all crisis has been averted and I can indulge in my favorite pastime of baking.
I love going to the farmers market and the culinary challenge it gives me for coming up with different ideas. When I started baking for the market a few years ago, it was a way to test out some of the ideas I had and mostly a way to save money to start that bakery/pastry/coffee shop I dream about.
The dream for that is still there, I have even come close a few times, but it seems fear has taken over me. I always thought of myself as fearless, but it seems I was wrong. I am not sure if its age that makes me feel fearful or if its failure.
However, till I figure it out, I will continue baking and going to the farmers market and I hope that someday that I will overcome that fear and my dream will no longer be a dream and that the pastry shop will be a reality.