“It happens to everyone as they grow up. You find out who are you and what you want, and then you realize that people you’ve known forever don’t see things the way you do. So you keep the wonderful memories, but find yourself moving on.”
I read this quote a few days ago and it made me think about some of my friendships or a friendship in particular. I have lately been battling with my conscience about what I should do. My friend and I go way back, it is safe to say we have known each other half of our lives, but recently I found that I have matured, aged and grown older, where as she is still the same, angry, selfish, narcissistic, self-centered teen she was.
As much as I would like to sever ties with her and move on, I find it hard to do so. We have had so many good times, but recently, I feel resentful just listening to her. Most often I would start a conversation about my day, but 2 seconds into it, I find that we are back talking about her. The hour-long conversations we have end up being all about her and if I am lucky enough to have 2 minutes to talk about me, I am reminded by her how wrong everything I do is.
No matter what we talk about, be it cooking/baking or just life and its struggles she takes that opportunity to find a way to make sure find a way to tell me that I am doing it wrong. For the most part I have learnt to listen and ignore, but there comes a certain point when listening and ignoring are no longer an option. I am now at the point that I dread answering my phone and trying to stay calm and collected during our conversations.
I no doubt have my shortcomings, failures and quirks, but I would like to believe that as I get older I have changed and learnt my lessons and make more of an effort to being a better person and that these are my mistakes to learn by.
It makes me sad that someone is still stuck in a time machine and refuses to move forward, to take the life she has and make the best of it. Instead she choses negativity and blame everyone but herself for all the shortcomings in her life.
Yes, life is not easy and has its ups and downs, but despite all that, I believe you make the best of it.
I have done my best to be a supportive friend that I can be, but I am unsure how I should deal with it. I by no means want to hurt her feelings by being brutally honest with her about what I think, but it is weighing me down.
I admit she does have reasons for her frustration and I do understand that, but I am constantly trying to help her deal with her situation, the best I can. I talk to her because I know she needs someone to vent to. While I do all I can, there are moments I feel irritated that she is trying to rub her negativity on me. I am at my wit’s end not knowing what to do.
Do I just cut ties and end a friendship that spans decades ? I know my trying to tell her all this is probably going to hurt her feelings because she will once again refuse to see my point of view and will end the friendship. I would like to continue our friendship and be there for her, but I am not sure how much more I can put up with.
I am no longer the angry rebellious teen I was, while I am not proud of those moments, I would like to think of myself differently. Maybe I am living in a fool’s paradise believing that most of us change as we get older. I want my friend to be happy and I want to do whatever I can and be supportive of her, but how do I that and still keep my sanity intact ?