I blame it on the rain

I want to write about running, baking, travels, love and every happy thing that is going on in my life, but it seems I can’t get a cohesive sentence about any out it out of me. It seems I am stuck on the pause button of heart-break.  I know, I know, I was not supposed to write about any of that, but some days it is beyond me, I blame it on the rain (just like Milli Vanilli did)…. yes it is not my fault, it is the fault of the endless rain, putting me in such a pensive mood.

This morning I woke up to the pitter patter of rain against my window, I realized there goes my plan for running 10 miles over the weekend.  I instead  sat curled up watching Netflix. One episode of Locked Up in America, was enough to make me grab my jacket and head outside.

My favorite seat maybe taken, but I am instead forced to perch in a different corner and indulge in my favorite pastime on a rainy day, that is people watching. I sit here sipping on my coffee trying to do some research on my upcoming travels, however, I am distracted as usual by the hustle & bustle around me.

While I sit here, a friend I have not seen for a while wanders over. Our conversation eventually turns to my blog and he says to me that some of my posts moved him. “Your story made me feel pretty sad, I can’t remember ever feeling in love as you made it sound like you were at that moment in time”.

He is right, I was in love like I never was before ever, but unfortunately, not every love story has a happy ending, but that definitely is how life works out. But I take every experience as a lesson at being a better me.

Maybe it was that conversation that triggered thoughts of my ex today and the inability to write all the things I wanted to. As much as I thought I would not think about him, there are days that thoughts of him would cross my mind. I am no longer the angry bitter person I was. I am slowly but gradually getting myself back again. But at least I know there is hope that it will happen.

As cliché as it sounds that time is a healer and as much as you refuse to accept it when you are hurting and feeling let down, reality of it is that time indeed does heal broken hearts.

So as time goes on, if there is one thing I have come to understand is that given sufficient time, I will learn to open up again. It is not easy and there will be days that I go 2 steps back for every 5 steps I have taken forward, but at least I will keep marching ahead.

Don’t look back, you’re not going that way.”

About my random musings

I am originally from South East Asia and I moved to the US about 15 years ago to follow my heart. My heart has since been broken a few times, but I continue to be on journey of trying to mend it. I could talk about running, baking or writing in a small crowd, but put me in a room full of strangers and I will be the one standing in a corner people watching. When I am not writing or running, I would be in my kitchen, flour strewn all over the kitchen counters, music playing in the background and me just rolling and folding dough, excited about what my creation will turn out to be. Besides that I love passionately, when I love, I give it my all, not always a good thing, but that is who I am. I jump both feet in and sometimes I come out with regrets but having learnt a lesson. I believe everything happens for a reason and this is my place to share bits and pieces of my life, my adventures and sometimes misadventures. Hope you enjoy reading my stories as much I enjoy sharing them with you.
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12 Responses to I blame it on the rain

  1. I know. I have S.A.D. too. Crappy weather brings crappy days. I love the last line.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. amommasview says:

    Thanks for sharing this. You will be fine. It needs moments like this. Then you get back on track on focus forward again.


  3. lilypup says:

    Very interesting post. Will read more. http://lilypupslife.wordpress.com/

    Liked by 1 person

  4. It has been pouring for a few days where I live too and I understand how this weather makes you think about almost everything because there isn’t anything else to do but that. It’ll be okay. I know you’ve probably heard that day after day but you will move on. There is no harm in thinking of it unless it’s all you think about. You’ll be good.


    • Thank you for taking the time to read and reply. Rain does play some storage tricks with your mind. Hopefully the rain will be gone tomorrow and I can put on my shoes and go run a few miles. I am moving on, but on certain days certain things will trigger unnecessary thoughts, but such is the human mind I suppose.


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