Honesty is such a lonely word

We all talk about how honest we are and how we want people to be honest with us, but in reality it somehow comes down to honesty is not always the best policy.

People constantly question others about why you hurt them or why you are hurt and then you tell them the truth as you see it, but most often that does not go down the right way, because they could not handle the truth. I am no exception to that rule, I like to think that I am absolutely honest and speak my mind (let’s not ask my ex boy friend for confirmation of that) but the truth is I know despite how I look at myself, I tend to stretch the truth sometimes to spare someone the hurt or pain.

Let me digress for a few with background story –  a few days ago a friend who constantly flakes on me did it again, despite assurances after my having told her I don’t spend time with her because of that. Fast forward a few months, she does it again. This time I decide I am done with my friendship and it’s time to sever ties. However she sends me a text asking me if I was upset with her and I replied telling her the truth, which was, that I am frustrated with the constant back and forth with plans and I dislike it. I like to make plans and stick to it. It turns out she did not like my honesty that she did what I believe is what most teenagers probably do, she unfriended me on Facebook.

Fortunately for me, my life does not revolve around FB or the number of friends I have. I use it just to post my photographs and a way to keep in touch with a few friends, therefore it did not bother me. No, let me rephrase that, her un-friending me did not bother me, but her childish behavior of not talking about it bothered me. I believe she did it because she could not handle the truth of what I told her.

I am not trying to get on a pedestal of honesty or morality, because I understand we all have our moments of weakness and make promises we sometimes can’t keep and I have no doubt there are times I have over promised and under-delivered. But for the most part I try not to be that person. I try to do my best to be honest and open, because I have learnt that one lie spirals out of control and it becomes such a big lie that we have dug a hole so deep, we cannot climb out of it.

Well getting back to where I was, I am probably no better than anyone else about handling the truth. Recently someone called me high-strung and I was aghast at that thought and refused to believe it. (In my defense I am not high-strung) If he called me impatient, strong-headed, stubborn, I would have whole heartedly agreed with him.  I don’t know why, somehow high-strung has a negative connotation to it and I had to actually ask a few of my close friends if they agree with this statement.

Fortunately for them or me, they all disagreed with that sentiment, they claim that I am easy-going, but sometimes too energetic,  and that someone who does not know me could construe that as high-strung.  However, they all agreed that when it came to food,  that I could be a tad bit  OCD and obsessive about wanting things to be perfect. It probably is never perfect, but at least I know it is not for the lack of trying on my part.

I constantly claim that I want to hear the truth, but someone tells me the truth as he see’s it and I refuse to accept that it is his idea of the truth about me. While being called high-strung upset me, what upset me more as days went by was that I could not graciously accept his opinion and would have preferred if he had not been honest about his opinion.

We all claim we want to know the truth and that we tell the truth, but somehow most often truth gets soft peddled if the truth involves hurting someone’s feelings. So I ask, is honesty the best policy or do we need to be a bit dishonest to avoid hurting people we care for ?

About my random musings

I am originally from South East Asia and I moved to the US about 15 years ago to follow my heart. My heart has since been broken a few times, but I continue to be on journey of trying to mend it. I could talk about running, baking or writing in a small crowd, but put me in a room full of strangers and I will be the one standing in a corner people watching. When I am not writing or running, I would be in my kitchen, flour strewn all over the kitchen counters, music playing in the background and me just rolling and folding dough, excited about what my creation will turn out to be. Besides that I love passionately, when I love, I give it my all, not always a good thing, but that is who I am. I jump both feet in and sometimes I come out with regrets but having learnt a lesson. I believe everything happens for a reason and this is my place to share bits and pieces of my life, my adventures and sometimes misadventures. Hope you enjoy reading my stories as much I enjoy sharing them with you.
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11 Responses to Honesty is such a lonely word

  1. I wholeheartedly believe in honesty except for the “occasional” white lie to keep from hurting someone’s feelings. If someone asked me if their bottom was too big I would never tell them yes.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. amaya911 says:

    Thank you! I’ll check it out.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. amaya911 says:

    This is true. You know I just realized recently the only person you need to be true to is yourself. Everyone has their own thing going on. Once people keep flaking and bailing on plans I get the hint and that’s the end of me begging someone to keep me company. I am my own best friend, my own company. You have to be your own best friend because people come and go unfortunately. You have to love yourself first and be comfortable in your own skin. It took me many years to accept me for me but I am finally coming around. I refuse to let people define me. I’m me and you either like me or you don’t and either is all good with me.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Stanley Ferrer says:

    I’d rather be inspired by sweet little lies, than to be discouraged by veracity. But that’s just how I roll 🙂 Well done.

    Liked by 1 person

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