Sometimes a short walk down memory lane is all that it takes to appreciate where you are today.
It has been a long time since I wrote about my ex boy friend who broke my heart into a million pieces. I would be lying if I were to say I don’t think of him from time to time and wonder how he is, where he is or what is going on with him ? I am not sure if it is because I am curious or concerned. Those moments are few and far between now, I have moved on, time has helped me come to grips with what happened and I have learnt to chalk things down to the fact that it is a painful lesson I learnt and as some would say ‘shit happens!’
Having said all of that, one may wonder why am I even re-hashing this and mentioning him. A few days ago, I went back and was reading some old posts and about the year that was and I realized that I was consumed by heartbreak.
After having read the older posts, I wanted to for one moment, forget the heartache and instead think of the fun times we had together. I realized focussing on the bad times does nothing but grow and fester the hurt, pain and animosity towards the person.
Unfortunately, I was having a hard time trying to envision the good times. I would have flashes of it, but it was very sporadic, the pain was trying to constantly overtake my mind. I was saddened and disappointed that how sometimes pain can overtake all the good times we have had, be it relationships or even friendships.
I want the new year to be about the positive traits of people. As it is, there is plenty of negativity going on around the world, why add it to our personal lives. There are friendships that have fallen by the way side due to various reasons, most often trivial issues, but before those issues arose, the friendships stood the test of time because of the goodness of the person. No matter how much we scrutinize and analyze and try to focus on the bad, everyone does have some good traits and why not just focus on that and the great memories we have had with people.
So considering I was having a hard time trying to recall all the great times together with my ex, I decided to go for a long run. Somehow putting on those running shoes always helps me clear my head and think and focus better. Running my usual route takes me past where we had one of our first dates, where we stood in the rain talking for hours about the most mundane and random things. Running also reminded me of the first half marathon we did and celebrating that achievement. The weekend away hiking the crab tree falls or the indoor picnic because it rained or playing with his adorable son and endless days where we spent in the kitchen cooking, came flooding back.
I realized that I may not recall every detail of the time we spent together, but just remembering some of it made me realize that despite what he did, that he was a great person and that we may now be strangers who pass each other on the street, but those memories will always be a part of my life.
Making resolutions is not my strong suit and therefore I don’t plan to make any, but I want this year to be more about thinking positively about friendships and relationships old or new and leaving the painful hurt behind.
Because no matter where we go or what we do, the memories will always follow us and we might as well have great memories that make us laugh or smile rather than the painful ones which might bring tears to our eyes.
So here is hoping that the year will be filled with wonderful memories we get to cherish always.
“Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory”.