The smell of bread baking fills the air while I stand by my window with a glass of wine in my hand watching the snow come down. It is late at night, and everyone around me is probably sound asleep, but me, I had this overly ambitious idea of baking a loaf brioche bread.
Downside of living in an old quaint brick apartment building is that no matter how much I try to stay warm, the heat somehow seeps out through the old doors or windows. The kitchen has no radiator and the only heat I would get is when I turn the oven on for baking.
So while I was making dinner tonight, I had this bright idea of baking bread. I never know why I start long elaborate projects late at night and usually get exhausted half way and want to give up. But considering there was a blizzard or snow storm heading this way, baking bread seem like a great idea.
Though I do a lot of baking, I generally don’t bake bread, I find the process a little too tedious and exact for me to handle. I want to be able to experiment and change things as I go along, where as in bread it has to be a precise and precise and I don’t really get along.
So while the dough rises and bakes I sat around watching the snow come down around me. As much as I dislike the cold and snowy weather, it forces me to slow down and be lazy and dream of warm weather.
Sitting here enjoying the silence of the night, reminds me to call my sister and talk about my plans for a trip to visit my parents next month. In previous posts I have mentioned that as my parents get older I struggle with the fact that I live far away. Considering I don’t think I am ready to pack my bags and move back, I do what I can and visit them every 6 months at least. I was last there in September. (My favorite post about that trip) and I am planning another trip for next month.
Talking to my sister always makes me miss everyone very much, typically our conversations are brief because we both seem to be constantly caught up in our own lives, giving us little time for long phone conversations, but tonight, she and I had a longer touching conversation.
I had an inclination that she wanted a shoulder to cry on, because she is one who is there on a daily basis to watch them struggle become more and more dependent on others. While they have their own struggles with it, I see my sister having a hard time watching them. I realize despite the fact that we know that we all get old and it is part of life, accepting it is a different scenario altogether. It is a tough balance of wanting to be there for them, but ensuring that they still feel that they have sense of independence.
My sister, the emotional one that she is started to weep when we started to talk about our childhood. It wasn’t all great, like every teenage kid we had our battles with our parents, but I don’t ever recall going hungry or not having what I wanted or needed.
One strong memory I have is our parents taking us to the beach on a regular basis, my dad would say, please eat something before we leave and my sister and I would scream in unison that we were not hungry. However, the minute we left the house we started to crib about being hungry and wanting to eat out. We thought we were being clever about the whole thing, but it turns out they already knew our trick.
An hour later she and I finally hung up the phone, both of us feeling emotional and maybe a little more understanding and appreciative of what our parents have done for us.
I realize there is no point in regrets about my selfish behavior as a kid, but at least it is not too late to change it now and do what I can and spend more time with them. I feel sad that I have limited time on my visits with them, but also thankful that I can spend time with them again soon.
The bread is now baked and so is the Nutella Brioche Pinwheels, time to sit back, watch more snow while I eat some hot bread out of the oven.
Brioche Nutella Pinwheels
It really is a fine line between trying to support aging parents and yet allow them as much independence as possible at the same time. I struggle with that situation with my own mom, who is 85. I think it’s great that you and your sister are able to lean on each other as this situation unfolds, and appreciate the pros and cons of both being nearby and being far away. And baking strikes me as an excellent way to deal with a snow storm!
LikeLike
Thank you Ann. Seeing my parents age has made my sister and I are much closer. We have 6 years age difference and was not really that close and the fact that I moved here did not help. But the last few years we have learnt that at the end we have to support each other at this time too. This has really changed my life and attitude a lot too. Thank you for reading.
LikeLike
Yummm! That bread and pinwheels look delicious! I can understand about aging parents. My mother is in the hospital because she is having difficulty breathing. The sad fact is, she is at the end of her life. I have no idea how much longer, possibly, if we are lucky, another year?
LikeLike
Thanks PJ. I just had a pinwheel for breakfast, the downside of baking is I eat most of it.
Sorry to hear about your mum, no matter how much we know that life eventually comes to an end it is hard to come to terms with it. I try to go back as often as I can so I don’t have any regrets about seeing them. Hope you get to spend time with your mum and she feels better.
LikeLike
Thank you! Hopefully, next week the weather will allow me to make a trip to visit her. I too, eat what I bake/make so I know how you feel! At least you run to get rid of those extra calories.
LikeLiked by 1 person
If I don’t run I will probably be rolling around. I hope you have a good visit with your mum.
By the way great shout out to you on Lynn’s real cooking.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you!
LikeLike
Looks lovely and a wonderful post as well! Have a good trip back to see your parents! Those childhood memories are sweet!
LikeLike
I also baked my way through the snow storm. I made pizza dough and several different pizzas. I used to hate anything to do with dough but it’s pretty easy once you give it a little time and patience and make sure the water temperature is right. Your bread looks good. Funny, my dad lives around the corner and I still am struggling with him getting older. It’s scary. He will be 80 this year. He is the one who used to make bread in my family. Now he doesn’t do much cooking.
LikeLiked by 1 person
What better thing to do in a snow storm than bake. You baked a pizza, I ordered a pizza 🙂
It is indeed scary watching your parents age and I notice it more because I see them maybe once or twice a year. I am trying to plan my trip this year so I will be there for my dad’s birthday. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You can bake bread and order pizza?? Lol actually, I baked 4 pizzas!! My son and his friends ate them. Pizza dough is the same as bread but it doesn’t have to rise as long. I refuse to pay for pizza if I can make one or 4 lol
LikeLike
Well next time you send me pizza and I will send you bread :). I was on a mission to make brioche because it is so ridiculously expensive at the grocery store, but it was no where near as soft. Do you use a pizza stone ?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sometimes but usually just a baking sheet. The brioche looks delicious. I thought about baking sweets but was full after pizza so lost enthusiasm lol
LikeLike
I had to give some of the bread pudding and pinwheels away. I am already trying to decide what I will bake tomorrow… but hopefully the sun will be out and I won’t feel compelled to turn the oven on.
LikeLiked by 1 person
We are still in the height of the snow storm here in RI. Lots of wind too.
LikeLike