It’s Friday evening and I should be out with some friends enjoying a glass of wine and unwinding from the long exhausting week. But here I am baking instead, because as usual I was overly ambitious.
Typically during winter months, the farmers market that I sell baked goods at is closed and I get to enjoy a much needed break of not waking up to an alarm on a Saturday morning. However, considering that the weather is behaving like a menopausal woman and we are expecting somewhat warm temps for February, they decided to hold a special market. While I could have easily stayed away, I decided to do some baking and release some stress from the week.
There are people who are stress eaters, stress smokers or even stress drinkers, but me, I am stress baker or stress runner. I suppose I should be thankful that I my vice is baking and running, because if I had baking and not running, I probably would not be able to fit in the front door. When I have had a bad day I head straight to the kitchen to start baking or put on my running shoes and pound the sidewalk for miles. Of course there are times I have done both.
Today thought I started to bake to relieve my stressful week plus because I had agreed to go to the market, baking added more stress to me.
I decided to experiment making some Ginger infused creme brûlée tarts, I make the crust and bake it and notice that it had shrunk a little, but because I was overly excited with the taste of the filling I decided to proceed not listening to my nagging voice that it might be a little too small.
Once done, I realized that it was a little too small and does not really fit into my perfectionist mentality or in other words my OCD personality. I am typically not OCD about things, but when it comes to baking/cooking I obsess with perfection, making it hard for my co-workers… but thats another story.
Since I am not one to easily give up, I decided to try again, making the assumption that I have learnt from my mistake. So I roll and fold and roll pastry again, keeping my fingers crossed, but alas I was wrong again. Still too small.
Sometimes the best thoughts and ideas can go awry, and I seem to be having one of those days.
Thinking of the quote “third time is a charm”, I decided to try again. Maybe this time I will use a different tart pan and roll it bigger and hope it will work. Better but not upto my expectations.
Maybe 4th time is the charm, but the fact that my stress reliever is stressing me out was a sign to leave the kitchen. I wish I could indulge in my next stress reliever of running, but it is 9 pm and 35 degrees, not really the time to go for a run. Instead I just signed up to run two half marathons in April.
I constantly tell myself that I need to learn to curb my obsessions with perfection and relax and accept that somethings are not worth stressing over, after all it is just a pastry.