It’s a cold windy 48 degrees this morning as I head to the first half-marathon I am running this year. As always the first thought in my head with the first step is why am I doing this ? What was I thinking signing up to run 13.1 miles ?

My mind floats from one random thought to another, which lasts fleetingly,  while I try to find something to cling to distract me from thinking of cold or the wind. The music is not doing much for me at this moment, because the wind on my face seems to overtake every rational thought in my head.

I start ticking different topics off in my head, family – nope, work – nope, school – definitely not, love life – hell noooo.

A glance at my  GPS on my wrist reminds me of the friend who gifted it to me and I have a aha moment, friends is what I will think about for the next 10 miles. A fitting tribute to the friend I have not spoken to in months.

I wonder is it me that has changed or is it him ? Is it the fact that he got married, moved across the country, has more responsibilities at his job that has put distance in our friendships besides geography ?

While logically I understand that with all the above that the friendship won’t be the same, but considering we have been friends for a long time, it is hard to comprehend the logic of it.

Maybe it’s really not him, maybe it is me, just caught up in my own little bubble and not making an effort.

Today is the day I am going to make an effort, maybe a text or an email to see how he is doing ? There are times I get so caught up in my own little world that I forget that sometimes I have to maybe make an effort to check on friends too.

With just 2 miles to go, I realize that I have barely thought of the cold or the wind or no longer wondering why I signed up to run.  I catch a glimpse of the finish line and my stomach starts to rumble reminding me that I need some food.

Food, food, food…..is all I can think about right now.