Running against the wind

It’s a cold windy 48 degrees this morning as I head to the first half-marathon I am running this year. As always the first thought in my head with the first step is why am I doing this ? What was I thinking signing up to run 13.1 miles ?

My mind floats from one random thought to another, which lasts fleetingly,  while I try to find something to cling to distract me from thinking of cold or the wind. The music is not doing much for me at this moment, because the wind on my face seems to overtake every rational thought in my head.

I start ticking different topics off in my head, family – nope, work – nope, school – definitely not, love life – hell noooo.

A glance at my  GPS on my wrist reminds me of the friend who gifted it to me and I have a aha moment, friends is what I will think about for the next 10 miles. A fitting tribute to the friend I have not spoken to in months.

I wonder is it me that has changed or is it him ? Is it the fact that he got married, moved across the country, has more responsibilities at his job that has put distance in our friendships besides geography ?

While logically I understand that with all the above that the friendship won’t be the same, but considering we have been friends for a long time, it is hard to comprehend the logic of it.

Maybe it’s really not him, maybe it is me, just caught up in my own little bubble and not making an effort.

Today is the day I am going to make an effort, maybe a text or an email to see how he is doing ? There are times I get so caught up in my own little world that I forget that sometimes I have to maybe make an effort to check on friends too.

With just 2 miles to go, I realize that I have barely thought of the cold or the wind or no longer wondering why I signed up to run.  I catch a glimpse of the finish line and my stomach starts to rumble reminding me that I need some food.

Food, food, food… all I can think about right now.



About my random musings

I am originally from South East Asia and I moved to the US about 15 years ago to follow my heart. My heart has since been broken a few times, but I continue to be on journey of trying to mend it. I could talk about running, baking or writing in a small crowd, but put me in a room full of strangers and I will be the one standing in a corner people watching. When I am not writing or running, I would be in my kitchen, flour strewn all over the kitchen counters, music playing in the background and me just rolling and folding dough, excited about what my creation will turn out to be. Besides that I love passionately, when I love, I give it my all, not always a good thing, but that is who I am. I jump both feet in and sometimes I come out with regrets but having learnt a lesson. I believe everything happens for a reason and this is my place to share bits and pieces of my life, my adventures and sometimes misadventures. Hope you enjoy reading my stories as much I enjoy sharing them with you.
This entry was posted in Friendship, Life and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Running against the wind

  1. yhealthy2000 says:

    You finished. Yay!! Celebrate now🎉


  2. Heck yes! After a 13 mile run I would be thinking about food too! 😀 Good for you, Tania! That is a long run!

    Liked by 1 person

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