I have a problem saying no to people. How can a two letter word be so hard to say? Why can’t I say NO and not feel a tinge of guilt?
The words in my head are I am sorry I am unable to do it today, but somehow the words out of my mouth are most often ok, I can do that for you!
I don’t resent helping others out, it makes me happy that I can be supportive and help my friends, considering that is part and parcel of life. But sometimes my concern is that do people sense my inability to say no and then take advantage of that.
A friend recommended that I read a self-help book about being a people pleaser. I really am not sure if I will call myself that, ask my parents, they won’t agree with the fact that I am a people pleaser, because they probably have a laundry list of things I have not pleased them with.
So recently my goal has been to learn that it is ok to say no and that my friends will understand it. At least that was my intention till a customer at the farmers market asked me to cater some baked good for his mother’s memorial. Now how can I say no to that, so of course I said yes I would love to, despite knowing that Sunday is generally my only day of rest and that there is going to be a lot of baking involved.
While still trying to figure out how I am going to cater different items for a crowd of 40 people, a friend tells me about the latest trend where people turn their homes into a private dining experience and suggests that I do it for them for a party of four.
I tried saying no, explaining the empty boxes that are strewn around which is not conducive for a party. But considering they are aware of my love for being in the kitchen and cooking an elaborate meal, my feeble no, became an ok.
Even though my plan for the weekend was a glass of wine, bowl of popcorn and a movie, I instead started to plan dinner. The more I planned, the more excited I became with the idea of it.
Dinner for 4 should be easy, they want Sri Lankan food, which I can do without much thought. I plan the menu, set the table and dinner is served.
Now that the dinner is done and it was successful night, I have got a few more people calling me and wanting me to host a dinner party.
I look around me and see empty boxes that need to get filled, glasses and plates that need to be packed away, but yet again instead of no, I say ok to cooking dinner for four again.
Why does that 2 letter word have to be so hard to say? Tomorrow all I am gonna say is no. I can do this no, no, no, nooooo!