Looking forward and not back

In a few days  I will be saying goodbye to a job I have had for 7 years… I constantly say to myself 7 years !!! Where has time gone and how did it happen? I try not to think about it being that long because it makes me sad or mad that I spent that many years and made no effort to change it.

When I initially started , I was planning it to be for a couple of months or maybe a year or two the least,  I then would move on to bigger and better things.  But instead time stood still and I ended up staying and finding it hard to get out of it. The longer I stayed, the hole I kept digging for myself seem to be get deeper and deeper and the light at the end of the tunnel was fading and it just finally disappeared.

From time to time I would see a faint flickering light and I would talk about leaving and dream about it, but uprooting myself seemed much harder than I thought it to be. I got complacent and lazy and maybe too comfortable to do anything but dream about moving on. So instead I stayed in the rut and found a million reasons to justify my actions.

The fact that the people I worked for, and with had become my close friends and maybe even my adopted family made it seem almost impossible to leave. As insane as this sounds every time I thought of leaving I felt disloyal considering to leave because they offered me a job when I had nothing and needed it the most.

It was not all bad, in the 7 years it gave me an immense amount of experience in a job I had never done and a challenge of thinking of food differently and on my feet and I mean literally on my feet.

But now the time has now come to walk away and not look back. I have said this before, that things happened which forced me to move out of my apartment and that to me was a sign  forcing me in the direction of the unknown.

What lies ahead is unknown, so far and I have decided not to let fear overtake me at this moment. I do accept that there are times I question my sanity on choices I am making, quitting the job and just moving, but at this point I also ask myself if I don’t take the risk, will I regret it?

Life is too short for regrets, there are many things I would do differently if I can, but I am also aware that there is no turning back the clock, so instead of worrying about what was, I have decided to focus on what will be.

This decision has not been easy, but taking the easy way out is not always the solution, sometimes the road less traveled might take us in a different direction that leads to big and better things and that is the choice I am making. Life is full of choices, right or left, wrong or right, up or down.  You will not always make the right choice, but consider those as detours towards the right choice.


About my random musings

I am originally from South East Asia and I moved to the US about 15 years ago to follow my heart. My heart has since been broken a few times, but I continue to be on journey of trying to mend it. I could talk about running, baking or writing in a small crowd, but put me in a room full of strangers and I will be the one standing in a corner people watching. When I am not writing or running, I would be in my kitchen, flour strewn all over the kitchen counters, music playing in the background and me just rolling and folding dough, excited about what my creation will turn out to be. Besides that I love passionately, when I love, I give it my all, not always a good thing, but that is who I am. I jump both feet in and sometimes I come out with regrets but having learnt a lesson. I believe everything happens for a reason and this is my place to share bits and pieces of my life, my adventures and sometimes misadventures. Hope you enjoy reading my stories as much I enjoy sharing them with you.
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4 Responses to Looking forward and not back

  1. I truly wish you the best in your future travels and experiences! I am looking forward to hearing all about them! Consider keeping a diary and writing a book. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Ann Coleman says:

    Best wishes during this time of change!

    Liked by 1 person

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