The past can sometimes be exhausting 

When I packed my bags and left US, I had this dream of writing blog posts and posting pictures of my adventure or misadventure on a daily basis. However, the writing seems to fail me as does the creativity to take wonderful pictures.

The traveling continues and I can tick off London, Norway, Sweden, Switzerland off my list of places I have stopped even for a day, but now I am back in Germany, where it all started.

It is past midnight and I stare at the ceiling waiting for sleep to find me, but I realise that the coffee I had is not going to help sleep come my way. There is something about me and coffee that somehow gets my mind into overdrive and takes me down memory lane. I try to shift gear and instead focus on the hear and now – really who cares about my past, even I am exhausted by the never ending thoughts that swirl in my mind. Most of us have experienced heartbreak, it is nothing new, but we also eventually move on and I will darned if I don’t move on.

I grab my phone and listen to music to soothe my restless mind and hoping it would lull me into sleep. Song after song keeps playing in my ear, finally just when my mind stops working overtime I hear Adele whisper “the scars of your love leave me breathless, I can’t help believing we could have had it all” – from her song Rolling in the deep.

I agree we could have had it all, but we don’t and we never will. 

There are days that I am tormented by thoughts but for the most part time has helped and being away in a different country experiencing something new almost daily has a way of mending broken hearts and healing the pain.

Tomorrow is another day and I make a mental note to stay away from coffee and to do some writing. 

About my random musings

I am originally from South East Asia and I moved to the US about 15 years ago to follow my heart. My heart has since been broken a few times, but I continue to be on journey of trying to mend it. I could talk about running, baking or writing in a small crowd, but put me in a room full of strangers and I will be the one standing in a corner people watching. When I am not writing or running, I would be in my kitchen, flour strewn all over the kitchen counters, music playing in the background and me just rolling and folding dough, excited about what my creation will turn out to be. Besides that I love passionately, when I love, I give it my all, not always a good thing, but that is who I am. I jump both feet in and sometimes I come out with regrets but having learnt a lesson. I believe everything happens for a reason and this is my place to share bits and pieces of my life, my adventures and sometimes misadventures. Hope you enjoy reading my stories as much I enjoy sharing them with you.
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5 Responses to The past can sometimes be exhausting 

  1. I truly hope you are having a wonderful time during your travels. And, I hope a special someone comes your way and sweeps you off your feet. I sincerely want you to heal from your past relationship. I know what you mean about smelling coffee and pastries because I wouldn’t be able to resist either. LOL!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you PJ. I am having a really great time. As for someone sweeping off my feet. It is not for the lack of trying on his part, but my feet seem to be firmly planted on the ground for now or he just needs a better broom to sweep me off with. 🙂


      • Hahaha! Well, Tania, it is wonderful that there is someone that is certainly trying to get to your heart. 😀 I’m glad to hear you are having a wonderful time and I hope that continues!


  2. I have that same issue with coffee. I quit drinking it for a year, but I was unable to stay away any longer. 😩 I am sorry you are hurting. Sending love and hugs to you.

    Liked by 1 person

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