The fine line of friendships


It is 2 am and I am suddenly woken up by a dream. I lay staring at the fan go round and round. I keep counting the blades, one, two, three, four, five, and on and on I go, trying to recall what it was that suddenly woke me up. But my mind remains blank and the fan blades remain at five, continuing to whir slowly.

As it is common for me, I tend to think of strange things at 2 am and this is something that I have been thinking about a lot lately – ‘Friendships’!  What makes someone a good friend? Most often I think I know the answer, but to be honest, I really don’t and it is something I have been pondering about a lot during my runs as well.

I have touched on this from time to time and have had numerous discussions about it with a couple of people I consider my best friends.  My friend D says he thinks someone is a good friend if they put the same effort into friendship as you do. “When you need them are they there for you?” is what another says. The debate continues because it is obviously a matter of opinion. But at the end I think we all can agree that friendship is a two way street and effort is needed to maintain it.

Recently my list of friends have been dwindling down rapidly and most often not on their part but because I have been over thinking the idea of friends and what it means and therefore putting distance between me and some friends. It does hurt to put distance between friends who were once important, but I have accepted that it is more important to cherish the people who chose to make an effort to maintain the friendship as well.

It is such a fine line between all the different types of friendships and it’s always a case of some crossing over from acquaintance to friend or vice versa depending on the circumstances.

In life if people who want to be friends with you, will make an effort to stay and never think of you as clingy at the time you need someone to talk to. They will always be there for you, the same way you will be there for them. You can tell them any type of problem and they won’t judge you or call you emotional.

Those who drive 2 hours in the middle of the night and spend hours waiting for me to land at an airport, without doubt probably falls into friends category, along with those who live across the country but who offer to open their home and let me stay till I figure out where I am going or what I am gonna do, as is the ones who offer to help me chase after a dream or help me with my job hunt.

I have realized that it is important to make friendships that are deeper than gossiping or going out. I want friends I can get breakfast with, who I can cry with, if necessary and whose who support my life goals and believe in me. Isn’t that what friendship is about?



About my random musings

I am originally from South East Asia and I moved to the US about 15 years ago to follow my heart. My heart has since been broken a few times, but I continue to be on journey of trying to mend it. I could talk about running, baking or writing in a small crowd, but put me in a room full of strangers and I will be the one standing in a corner people watching. When I am not writing or running, I would be in my kitchen, flour strewn all over the kitchen counters, music playing in the background and me just rolling and folding dough, excited about what my creation will turn out to be. Besides that I love passionately, when I love, I give it my all, not always a good thing, but that is who I am. I jump both feet in and sometimes I come out with regrets but having learnt a lesson. I believe everything happens for a reason and this is my place to share bits and pieces of my life, my adventures and sometimes misadventures. Hope you enjoy reading my stories as much I enjoy sharing them with you.
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5 Responses to The fine line of friendships

  1. Heidi says:

    I really enjoyed this post. Specifically because I too am cursed with random thoughts/anxiety in the middle of the night, mine happen at 3am, but also I’ve been contemplating friendship as of late. Making friends, keeping friends. It seems to change the older I get as families and priorities change for each of us. Great post. Thanks for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you. Cutting ties with friends who I’ve known for years is not easy, but when you realize that they drag you down, bring too much drama and negativity into your life, it’s time to walk away or at least curb the communication. Thank you again for reading and for the follow.


  2. Ann Coleman says:

    Friends can be complicated. There are casual friends, whose company we enjoy but we don’t really count on them in tough times, and we don’t have that deep understanding either. This is okay, as long as you understand the limitations, I think. But true friends do require time and effort. The reward is that when you really need someone, they are there… I think we all need at least one true friend!

    Liked by 1 person

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