Four year ago today, I ran my first ever half marathon. I remember standing at the start line feeling anxious, questioning my ability to do it but yet telling myself I could do this. I turn and see him standing right there next to me and I felt reasured that I would be able to do this with him beside me. After all I had paid to be here and trained really hard for this moment and having the person I loved by my side, everything seemed possible. I put my music on and keep going, afterall my goal was being able to cross that finish line and I did it and I had never felt so proud of myself. Of course half way through it, I was ready to give up, hang up my running shoes and find a sport that required less energy and maybe more sitting around.
However, fast forward through the 4 years, I have run numerous half-marathons, a marathon and now getting ready for another marathon and a few more half marathons this year. I no longer question my sanity nor my ability to do it or have the desire to quit. Running has become this huge part of my life. If I am planning a vacation, running gear is always included and time to run is always in the schedule.
It seems without a doubt I get a little sentimental and emotional around this time of the year. I run this same race every year, because it has so many memories attached to it. The struggles, the accomplishments and how running saved me. Maybe that statement sounds dramatic, but when I first started running, it was as a way to cope with a broken heart.
My broken heart was healed only to be broken again. Despite that, this race reminds me of my ex. We may have gone our separate ways and not spoken to each other in years, but how could I forget the person who was there with me and ran this race and supported me and encouraged me the entire time. Without a doubt when I stand there again at the start line, my thoughts will go back to that first race.
It has taken a lot of sweat and tears to get to the point where, four years later I can run this race and think of the positive influence he had in my life, because I have realized that feeling bitter and resentful is a waste of energy.
Sometimes life takes us in different directions, but I believe that every person comes into our life for a reason and sometimes as the saying goes for a season.
Times does heal broken hearts and life goes on, some memories start to fade, while some remain strong and I am glad that despite all the challenges I have faced, that I have learnt that it is better to hold on to the good and let go of the bad memories.
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