It has been a while since I sat at my favorite coffee shop to write and people watch. But it has been a while since I even had any down time for anything that was not working or running.
While running my last half marathon a few weeks ago I was trying to go back in time to how things have changed in my life. One year ago I quit my dead-end job, even though there are moments that are challenging and I just want to give up and get into a another dead end job, I have no regrets of quitting it. It was one of those jobs that was mind numbingly boring, only positive aspect was my coworkers who made it tolerable and the paycheck.
Of course now I have to work twice as hard for the paycheck, but I find it more satisfying. I may at some point throw in the towel and decide to be a slave to a 9-5 job, but for now I enjoy pushing myself and testing my limits and seeing how far I can go.
The most exciting part for me is that I can obsess about things being perfect and experiment and do things the way I want and know that it is appreciated. Trying to buy best quality ingredients and offer a decent product may not be business savvy, but I want to be proud of what I offer.
I have mentioned before that my friends constantly tell me that I am obsessive about things being perfect. While that might not be my strong suit, then again it maybe my strong suit, because it forces me to push myself even more.
When I read the reviews written about the items I sell, I realized that my wanting it to be perfect was so worth it.
Most often no matter what I set out to do, I want to give it my all, even with my running, considering I have never been an athlete or consider myself athletic, I challenge myself. Running a marathon has become a huge undertaking on my part, the time that goes into the training has been unbelievable. However, even though I know I will not be one of the first crossing that finish line, I know my determination will get me to the end.
However, I have to confess that sometimes I dislike that part of me and wish I could change. Trying to get everything right is not a good thing. There are times I just wish I could say ‘oh it is not up to my standards, but it is ok’.
Learning to say it is ok is a constant struggle, because most often when someone says that to me, I roll my eyes and walk away, mumbling under my breath that it is not ok.
I understand that there are times it is ok and that there are times it is not ok, but learning the difference and when to say it is my battle. In my opinion it is a fine line between the two and I am taking baby steps in that direction and towards learning to step back and enjoy my hard work and appreciate the compliments I get.