My roots are buried in two different
countries that I call home,
in two different
languages I call my tongue.
Perhaps this is why I’m always so torn
between who I am
and who I am meant to be.

It’s Sunday morning and I am strolling the beach in Sri Lanka. I watch the laughing children at play and parents holding their kids as they stand on the shore watching the waves. Life somehow seems simple and uncomplicated at that moment.

I feel a tinge of nostalgia pass me, I miss being able to do this. Maybe I am getting more melodramatic because my vacation is soon coming to an end and it is time to face the challenges that will come my way.

Part of me is so torn and I want to move back here and enjoy the simplicity of life, but the other part of me is scared. I constantly question if I am ready for that leap yet? Am I ready for the clash of the 2 cultures I often find myself torn between?

Rationally, moving back should not be scary.  After all this was and is home to me. The place I belong, even though I am technically considered a tourist.  At the end of the day no matter where I roam or lay my hat, when someone asks me where I am from, my immediate response is Sri Lanka.

I can adjust and adopt a different accent, carry a different passport and live my life in a different part of the world,  yet, this is where my roots begun, this is where the seeds of who I am were sown and therefore, there is no escaping the harsh reality of the truth of who I am, but constantly wonder who I am meant to be.DSC00906DSC00917DSC00950DSC00947DSC00897DSC00890DSC00856DSC00302DSC00878DSC00891DSC00314DSC00921





About my random musings

I am originally from South East Asia and I moved to the US about 15 years ago to follow my heart. My heart has since been broken a few times, but I continue to be on journey of trying to mend it. I could talk about running, baking or writing in a small crowd, but put me in a room full of strangers and I will be the one standing in a corner people watching. When I am not writing or running, I would be in my kitchen, flour strewn all over the kitchen counters, music playing in the background and me just rolling and folding dough, excited about what my creation will turn out to be. Besides that I love passionately, when I love, I give it my all, not always a good thing, but that is who I am. I jump both feet in and sometimes I come out with regrets but having learnt a lesson. I believe everything happens for a reason and this is my place to share bits and pieces of my life, my adventures and sometimes misadventures. Hope you enjoy reading my stories as much I enjoy sharing them with you.
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7 Responses to Home

  1. Ann Coleman says:

    The good thing about moving away from your home is that you get to broaden your horizons and experience new cultures. The bad thing about moving away from home is that you always wonder just exactly where your home should be: where you come from, or where you are? There is no right answer, you just have to do what feels best to you. Best of luck as you make those tough decisions.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I always struggle with that because as much as I love my life in US, I miss my family and friends. I suppose it’s always a trade off, I give up one thing for the other, but the experience of living there has not only broadened my horizons but also made me a better person.


  2. Great pictures! Are you thinking about moving back to Sri Lanka?

    Liked by 1 person

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